Married with children

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Highlight: Married with children

How can you keep your vow to love your spouse with kids in the house?

Ruth Schwenk explains how going from married to married with children can be a difficult transition for couples.

“We forget that there are so many different seasons of life and so it’s really a life-long commitment. We forget about how much things change once you have kids – it’s a whole new world. It is really hard, but it’s possible to have a strong marriage during that season.”

Finding a healthy balance between marriage and parenting isn’t always easy. Ruth shares from her personal experience,

“I remember when I had three of my children at home and they were really little, and I was just trying to get through the day. That sums up a lot of moms how they feel, ‘I’m home I’m so tired; I’m exhausted and I’m supposed to love my husband too.’”

Marriage and parenting require a healthy balance. Ruth’s husband, Patrick Schwenk expresses God’s desire for balance in our relationships

“There is a danger in becoming overly child-centered and then there’s an equal danger of becoming overly me-centered. God really desires for us to have a God-centered marriage where all of those things can be balanced.”

He shares some of the warning signs of a child-centered or me-centered marriage,

“In parenting, I think the challenge becomes when we want to be great parents and that desire to be great parents really overshadows having a great marriage.”

“Couples will begin to neglect their own needs, romance begins to cool, a couple’s attention and affection can shift from a spouse to a child and sort of an excessive or unhealthy way, etc.”

It’s important to keep our vow to continue loving our spouse so that we can honor God’s design for marriage and maintain balance in our lives.


Patrick and Ruth Schwenk have been married for more than 17 years, have four children and have been involved in full-time ministry for more than 15 years. Patrick is a pastor, while Ruth is a blogger and the co-author of Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why We All Need To Knock It Off. The Schwenks are also the creators of ForTheFamily.orgTheBetterMom.com and co-authors of For Better or for Kids: A Vow to Love Your Spouse with Kids in the House.

For Better or for Kids

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