Highlight: Is God disappointed in me?

How often do you find yourself feeling like you aren’t enough? We often chide ourselves for not giving enough, serving enough, or praying enough. Beth Allen Slevcove says that often those who suffer from self-contempt are living with resolved pain and loss.

When we feel disappointed with ourselves, we project that disappointment from God. We believe the lie that He is also disappointed with us and this hinders our walk with Him.

“Many of us are so good at self-condemnation and judgment. I call it listening to my colicky, baby brain that just needs to be rocked and quieted.”

We are so quick to scream at ourselves what we did wrong and what we should have done differently. In doing so we often assume God screams as well, but He doesn’t.

“For many of us, God is like the CEO of a highly productive, highly efficient company and we better toe the line. But the reality is that God created us to shut down for a third of our life, eight hours every night, and that’s about the most inefficient model I can imagine creating.”

We weren’t created to be efficient robots. We were created to be followers of Christ.

“We were created to be dependent and to rest in the loving presence of our Father and to recognize that recovery, restoration, and returning home to God are just as important as doing, working, productivity, efficiency, and all the things we get caught up in our spiritual life and our everyday life.”

Beth urges us to be attentive to what is driving is in our everyday lives.

“What voices am I listening to you? Are they leading me towards more condemnation? If so, that is not the fruit of the Spirit, that is not where God is present.”


Beth Allen Slevcove is a spiritual director, retreat leader, writer, surfer and mother. She created and runs the Surf Monkey Fellowship, a Southern California surf company and online community. She lives in San Diego with her husband and two young children.

Key Scripture: Mark 4

Broken Hallelujahs

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