Developing deep and lasting friendships can be a challenge for many women. Christine Hoover reminds us that, like every other relationship, real friendships will begin and end with God.

“True friendship between two imperfect people is always going to point us back to God. I think about my friends in my own life, and what they do is they remind me of my hope in Him; they remind me to turn my gaze toward Him. They help me to enjoy God because I enjoy them and I see them as gifts from Him and it points my heart back to Him.”

“It’s kind of a circle beginning with God; He modeled for us, He instituted friendship, and this friendship points us back to Him in worship.”

As a pastor’s wife, Christine has a unique perspective on watching friendships develop and evolve. She explains some of the commonalities between those who excel at developing friendships.

“We all deal with insecurities in our relationships, but I also find certain women are really successful in relationships and I see what they have in common. They are seekers of other people; they’re going into rooms, conversations, or churches and they’re thinking about, how can I go toward other people? Whether it’s with questions or some way of trying to know other people.”

“They’re going beyond the age boundaries that we often put on ourselves. We kind of put these restrictions on who we could potentially be friends with as far as age, life stage, marital status or all those kind of kind of things.”

Being a friendship magnet may be easier than we think.

“I see women going toward other women and trying to engage them and show value to them. What they have in common is that they really are a magnet for other women.”

Christine reminds us that if we can approach our friendships in the same manner, we will have more opportunities to not only make friends, but to deepen those relationships.

A key to lasting friendships


Christine Hoover is a pastor’s wife, mom, speaker, and the author of From Good to Grace: Letting Go of the Goodness Gospel, Messy Beautiful Friendship: Finding and Nurturing Deep and Lasting Relationships, and The Church Planting Wife: Help and Hope for Her Heart. She has written for The Gospel Coalition, Desiring God, and Christianity Today. Blogging at www.GraceCoversMe.com.

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